When Katie and Dan Toney were offered the opportunity to not only change careers, but to relocate 800 kilometres interstate, the decision weighed heavily on the Queensland couple.
After spending decades in the media industry on Kabi Kabi land on the Sunshine Coast, the pair were excited by the prospect of moving to Worimi land on the NSW Mid North Coast to manage a caravan park at Seal Rocks — a town with a population of just 50 people.
But there were many conflicting thoughts and feelings, Katie says, especially when it came to considering their two primary-school-aged children, who had grown up on the Sunshine Coast.
"There was a little bit of concern and trepidation over 'are we removing them from their village?' Are we selfish for doing this?'
"We had to keep reminding ourselves that people do this all the time, especially people who have jobs where they are moving around constantly."
There were also worries about losing connection with friends, and their sense of identity around their long-established careers.
"We felt like we were risking all of those things," Ms Toney said.
The 39-year-old says it was "a complete upheaval in every sense".
"To take on a completely new industry, it did feel like starting from scratch.
"We were thinking 'will we be good at this? Will we excel at this?'"
Decision can cause ‘overwhelm’
Psychologist Amanda Hall, based on Wallumedegal country in West Ryde, NSW, says people often feel "quite overwhelmed" by the decision to relocate for work.
"Because they're often complex decisions, and there are so many factors to consider."
"They might be going over different options in their mind, and emotions come into play quite strongly for a lot of people," she says.
Eli Clarke was just 16 years old when he had to make a tough decision about relocating almost 3,000 kilometres from his hometown of Alice Springs/Mparntwe to Sydney/Warrane.
He had been offered a scholarship at a prestigious dance school.
But it meant moving away from his support network of family and friends at a young age.
"I went completely by myself, which is crazy now that I think about it," the now 20-year-old says.
"I was really ready for a new chapter and to really just pursue dance as a career, because I was so madly in love with it."
But the proud Arabana and Gurindji man says moving off country was is something he's struggled with.
"I think at the time when I was living in Alice Springs, I didn't realise how surrounded I was by culture and how lucky I was.
"I feel like my culture, where I come from, is very different to where I've been living for the last few years.
"Central desert is very different to any coastal (Indigenous) group."
Seek help if you’re stuck
Ms Hall says professional help can be useful if you're struggling with a big decision about relocation.
She likes to use a "career decision-making matrix" to help breakdown the confusion.
It is a simple score sheet to rate the importance of things such as housing costs, distance from family/friends, commuting times, weather or work-life balance.
"They can use a spreadsheet, like Excel, and just put down the various factors that are important to them," she says.
"It's based on what they actually want and how important those different factors are to them."
Once you've scored each factor based on its importance, versus staying where you are, Ms Hall says you start to get a clearer picture of whether relocating is the right decision for you.
"Different factors are important to different people," she says.
"If you look at the specific job, there are things like, how supportive is the manager?
"'Am I going to be working remotely in this place? Or are there going to be other people in the office?'"
"Obviously you have to consider in advance, the livability of the place … and what opportunities there are."
She says for extra surety people should consider a Plan B, "and exit options for if things don't work out".
Taking the risk 'absolutely worth it'
The Toneys didn't have a Plan B if it the move to Seal Rocks didn't work out.
"We are very much all-or-nothing people," Katie says.
"We really threw ourselves into it, we weren't going to do this without giving it our absolute all."
"It's harder to do when you're in your late 30s than it is in than in your early 20s … you've got bills to pay, and sometimes you just need to keep on, keeping on.
But almost four years after making the big location move, they are completely at-ease with their decision and their kids are thriving.
"We wouldn't want to be anywhere else," she says.
Family and friends often make the eight-hour drive down Seal Rocks or take a flight into the nearby hub of Newcastle.
And time spent with them is now more "meaningful".
"One thing we realised after we left is that you could live in the next suburb from people, but when everybody's just so busy it's not like you're hanging out with them every weekend," she says.
The decision to make a big move and follow his dreams is also paying off for Eli Clarke.
This year he accepted a contract with the renowned Bangarra Dance Theatre, a company of professional Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander performers.
"I am so proud to dance in a full black company of people of Aboriginal backgrounds," he says.
"I feel happy to be connecting back with culture and doing what I love surrounded by a full Indigenous cast."
Eli says he travels back to Alice Springs/Mparntwe at least a few times each year.
"It's always nice to take a trip back home and see family and really connect back with the culture."
"I think it's important to just go back and connect with country."
