Like many parents who have been shocked by revelations of horrific abuse and regulatory failure in the Australian childcare system, Ben has been re-evaluating his son's care arrangements.
He's also an early childhood educator, part of only 3 per cent of the childcare workforce that are men.
"I want to move my child to my own centre, because I know and can trust those people," says the 41-year-old from Greater Sydney, whose name we have changed for privacy.
"Not that the place my child attends is untrustworthy, but the line between genuine good work and someone hiding in plain sight feels invisible."
While concerned for his own child's safety, Ben is also worried about the future of men in the sector. He says male educators play a crucial role.
"It's important that kids see men in care work. Kids shouldn't learn it's only women's work."
Ben reached out to us after we asked to hear from parents who have been rethinking child care amid the crisis.
We spoke to him to learn more about how he's been impacted as a parent and educator in a crumbling system.
These are his words.
I like helping children discover the world
I wasn't interested in children until several years ago when my brother had kids. They were the most adorable kids, and it made me want children of my own.
When we had my son, my wife was a teacher and I was working in a rubbish part-time retail job, so I stayed home with him.
When he was older and we enrolled him into child care, I wanted to go back to work, but not that same job.
I'd started a Masters of teaching many years ago, and through that knew I liked working with kids, just not necessarily in the school system.
I figured I had these skills from raising my son, and wondered if they would translate.
I had a few successful trials in centres, but they said without training, they wouldn't hire me.
That's when I started an early childhood education course, and I was offered a permanent job in a centre I did placement at.
I like the fact that everything in the world is brand new to children. It's nice helping them discover things, like figuring out blue and yellow make green.
It takes a lot to educate young children
I wish there was more respect, especially from people who don't have kids, to understand what it takes to look after and educate children.
Everyone is like 'Oh yeah, that is just so easy'. No, it's not.
It's not like turning the TV on for your nephew and ignoring them while babysitting.
You're helping kids learn to unpack their bag, teaching them about taking turns.
There should be more recognition for what it takes to teach children how to interact.
You need patience. You need flexibility — lesson plans can go out the window in a heartbeat.
And you really need to enjoy working with children. You actually have to want to be there.
I have felt supported
The effects from the news around the childcare crisis have been multifaceted for me.
I feel supported and looked after in my own centre.
No-one has looked at me funny since. No parent, no teacher, thinking, 'Maybe he's one.'
My director is always checking in on how I'm feeling. She lets me know it's OK to talk about it.
They're not trying to pretend there's not a male worker here.
I know other men in the industry haven't been so lucky. I'm privileged as a middle-age white guy. Some educators with culturally diverse backgrounds have had a harder time of it.
On the other side of things, I worry about my son.
It's created a paranoia in the background of my mind, that the only place he would be safe is with me at my centre.
But the headlines are everywhere. So maybe some of my fears are from that saturation, and just being an overzealous parent.
We need male educators
It's ridiculous to think we should only have female workers educating and caring for children.
Women shouldn't be doing all of that. Kids need to see men doing it too.
That said the whole system needs an overhaul. And people who are doing the work should be in control of it. There is such a disconnect between the people counting the money, especially in the for-profit centres who think 'How well can we do it for how little?'
We need more people in the industry, but those people need to be professionals. It will be harder and harder for men to enter the sector.
I'm not going anywhere.
