Saaratha Iruthayanathar was three years old when she last saw her father leaving to get groceries, during the Sri Lankan civil war.
To this day, she still does not know whether he is dead or alive.
While travelling by boat to the Jaffna mainland in November 1990 — with a group of 12 people — her father was arrested by the Sri Lankan Navy.
"The grief of not knowing what happened to him is beyond words," Ms Iruthayanathar told the ABC.
Her father went missing during the war between the Sri Lankan government and the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam, more commonly known as the Tamil Tigers.
They were fighting to create an independent state in the north and east of the country before they were defeated by government forces in 2009.
The navy said her father was alive when they returned his belongings shortly after his arrest.
"They told us that the people whose belongings were sent back to their families were alive," Ms Iruthayanathar said.
"I still remember what was in the bag — two pomegranates, some oil cans and dried up roses from our garden."?
Despite that information, Ms Iruthayanathar's mother found nothing to indicate her husband was still alive.
She continued her search for 16 years, lodging complaints to The Office of the Presidential Commission of Sri Lanka, The Ministry of Justice and the Red Cross but received no responses.?
Up to 100,000 enforced disappearances
According to the UN, Sri Lanka has the second-largest number of enforced disappearances in the world.
Amnesty International estimates that there have been at least 60,000 cases — and as many as 100,000 — since the 1980s.
Since the end of the civil war, 20 mass graves have been discovered in the north and south of the country. But investigations have rarely led to meaningful answers, leaving families in limbo.?
Ms Iruthayanathar said when she heard the news from her home in Melbourne of a recent mass grave discovery in Sri Lanka she could not bear to look at the photos.
"Sometimes people forget that these were real people … someone's mother, father, child or friend," she said.
For the past four months, archaeologists have been excavating the most recent discovery in Chemmani on the outskirts of Jaffna — the country's Tamil heartland — and have so far unearthed 240 human skeletons.
But it took decades for the site to be properly investigated after it was first flagged.
Among the remains already found are neonatal skeletons and children — including one set where a small child appeared to be cradled in the arms of an adult.?
The latest excavation is a stark reminder of the victims who remain uncounted for.
It has led to renewed calls for international investigations into enforced disappearances in Sri Lanka.?
United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, Volker Türk, visited the Chemmani site in June this year.?
He said "decisive action" was needed and warned Sri Lanka against falling into another "impunity trap".
Is Sri Lanka repeating past mistakes?
For Sri Lankan Tamils, mass grave discoveries tell a story of failed accountability and unresolved tragedy.?
[Mass Grave Map]Ranitha Gnanarajah, a lawyer overseeing the excavations and representing more than 250 families who have lost loved ones, has been calling for the government to implement standard procedures for investigating mass graves.
She also wants to see the implementation of a DNA database.
"Currently, there is no DNA system in place to identify the victims and return them to their loved ones," she told the ABC.
Ambika Satkunanathan, a human rights lawyer and former commissioner of the National Human Rights Commission of Sri Lanka, said her country lacked the forensic resources and legal frameworks to properly investigate mass graves and prosecute perpetrators.
"Sri Lanka needs international assistance and international observers who have expertise in investigating mass grave discoveries," she said.?
Ms Satkunanathan said Sri Lanka could draw on the expertise in forensic anthropology gained from the excavation of mass graves in other countries like Guatemala and Argentina.?
The United Nations estimates that Guatemala's civil war left about 200,000 Maya Indigenous people dead or missing.
Ms Satkunanathan said Sri Lanka could also learn from Guatemala's treatment of the bereaved.
"Victims' families need to be treated with empathy, respect and dignity and have an active voice in the investigation process without fear of harassment or reprisals," she said.
Families of the missing harassed and surveilled
Leeladevi Nadarajah, the president of the Mothers and Fathers of Enforced Disappearances in Kilinochchi, is one of the many elderly mothers who has been protesting outside the Office Of Missing Persons for more than 3,000 days.
When her son went missing in 2009 there was no investigation by authorities, she said. Instead the questioning and interrogation was directed towards her.?
"I was treated like I was the accused," she told the ABC.
Despite last year's change in government, Ms Gnanarajah says journalists, lawyers working with families and families of the missing continue to be intimidated by the Criminal Investigation Department.
"Families of the missing are harassed, surveilled and intimidated to prevent them from speaking out and participating in the investigation process," she said.?
Ms Satkunanathan said the investigation process would not work "if victims are not consulted and victims do not trust authorities".?
She also stressed the need for urgent reform to bodies, such as the Office of Missing Persons (OMP).
The OMP was established in 2017 to investigate enforced disappearances.
But it has been criticised by Tamil families, activists and human rights bodies for being biased and state controlled — notably, one appointed commissioner was a former senior military officer.?
The election of President Anura Kumara Dissanayake brought in pledges to address Tamil grievances.
He also pledged a transparent investigation into the Chemmani site.
However, Ms Gnanarajah said there had been little progress to reform failed domestic mechanisms and hold perpetrators of war crimes accountable.?
"Rulers change but practices stay the same," she said.?
The ABC contacted the OMP and the Criminal Investigation Department for comment.
The Sri Lankan government did not provide a comment on the record.
Sri Lanka rejects calls for international oversight
Victims' families, civil society groups and human rights bodies have repeatedly pressed for international mechanisms to monitor Sri Lanka's progress in accountability.
But Sri Lankan governments have continued to reject these calls.
The current Dissanayake government says it is determined to deal with human rights challenges, including reconciliation, through domestic means.
Sri Lankan Tamils in Australia are among those urging stronger action.
They want the Australian government to back international investigations into mass graves sites and impose travel bans on military officers implicated in war crimes, similar to what the United States, Britain and Canada have done.?
Australia has a close relationship with Sri Lanka due to the large diaspora community and connections between defence forces.
Meenakshi Ganguly, Human Rights Watch's deputy Asia director, said Canberra could leverage this relationship to pressure Sri Lanka to allow international monitoring.
"Holding Sri Lanka accountable will send a message to the global community that no country can get away with such human rights violations," Ms Ganguly said.
In a statement to the ABC, a spokesperson for the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade said the Australian government was "a long-standing supporter of justice and accountability for the victims of human rights violations and abuses during Sri Lanka's civil war."
"We take a close interest in Sri Lanka's approach to human rights, peace and reconciliation, and engage the Sri Lankan government on these issues through local, bilateral and multilateral forums."
Back in Melbourne, Saaratha Iruthayanathar said she hoped the global attention on Chemmani would be a turning point and lead to families finally getting closure.
Her father will turn 77 this year and she said both she and her mother continued to hold out hope he was alive.
"Until I see that my Appa [father] is dead, I will continue to say he is missing no-matter how old he is".
